I love the colors of the leaves and the sunlight floating through the leaves
I love the crispness of the air.
I love wearing comfy sweaters, jeans and thick socks.
I love the fact that I can make all my favorite cold weather foods.. and make the house smell yummy. Sourdough bread yesterday, roast turkey today.. house smells so good, like my grandmother came by and cooked for me. 🙂
I love seeing pumpkins, cornstalks and gourds everywhere. Their odd shapes makes me smile. It’s a different beauty than the lushness of summer, the starkness of winter, I can’t quite find the words for fall.
I love seeing older homes during fall, they have the big trees, the porches, it looks like a story book.
I love that Fall is a time for reflection. It’s almost the end of the year, and you start thinking about all the things of the year. It’s also the start of a school year and new beginnings.
For me, it’s been a bittersweet year. Some very sweet moments, tempered with sadness & regret. I’m a different person than I was last year at this time. I’ve grieved deeply. And I have rejoiced greatly. Don’t think the irony that I’ve had some of my happiest points have also been counterpoint to the saddest times of my life has not made me stop and think.
I admit I have lived a sheltered life, a comfortable life. There are times that I am overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. There are also days when I feel like nothing, and I mean, NOTHING is going right, and that it’s gloom & doom. So for this afternoon, I have sat and thought…
I have been married for 18 1/2 years to an amazing man, who can still make my heart skip a beat when he smiles at me.. I miss him horribly when he’s not around. And he still drives me bonkers because I can’t read his mind yet. Really. I am so stunned by this… because I never thought I would be the sister who got married. I’m too stubborn, too quirky, too ME. I really thought I would wind up with an apartment somewhere and I’d constantly forget to buy toilet paper and have stacks of books around. Okay, no apartment, but the stacks of books and forgetting the toilet paper? Yeah I got that right. Pretty sure that our marriage makes God in heaven, just laugh… the bookworm and the jock.. but we fit together.
I have family & friends who would be there at 3 am if I needed them. No questions asked. Again, I am very much in awe of those friendships and I cherish them. I’m blown away at work by people who can’t tell me an emergency contact for themselves, have no idea of who would come to their side. Me? I definitely have options..:)
I never thought I’d be a mom, much less to a boy and a girl. Holy Cow… there are days I look back, and I am stunned that they survived my parenting skills. Really. Maybe I should not say that they’ve survived yet… 🙂 I didn’t really enjoy baby sitting, much less to a large family. Diapers, puke, entertaining the children… yeah not me.. Those two precious people have taken me out of my selfish little self and made me a better person. There are days that I think they raised me, not the other way around.
So thinking about these things, being a little wistful that it’s been a year since I heard my grandpa’s rumbling voice, smelling the crisp fall air, and knowing that every morning is a new promise. That just because today wasn’t a great day, that the things that really matter, are good and real in my life.